I just want some grass. Is that so much to ask? Not the kind you smoke. No no. My dream is much simpler. I want a green yard. A lawn. The kind of grass you walk through, sit on to read a book, or watch the kids spin-around-in- circles in. But apparently I now live in a desert. Austin Texas is becoming increasingly arid making my dream ever more elusive.
There are many dreams to dream. Write the next great American Novel (that’s quickly adapted to a screenplay). Invent the self-cleaning bathtub. Or, have a personal “pause” button so I can truly think before I speak. But for now the dismal grass situation in my front yard is frankly all the goal I can gather. It’s an irritant. Like the lion with the thorn in his paw or a person with a seed stuck between denture and gum. Like those poor souls I am left immobile.
According to the United States National Arboretum, a research division of the United States Agriculture Department, an official lawn has three components. It must consist of mostly grass. It has to be mown (yes, according to USNA “mown” is proper past tense of the verb “to mow”) and it is to be “maintained for the benefit of people.” I’m stuck on step one, “mostly grass.” Americans started yearning for a yard dating back to the industrial revolution. Achieving your own lush square of land became more feasible once the push mower was invented and made available to the masses in about 1870. Thanks to Elwood McGuire of Indiana for that, and to www.american-lawns.com for the scoop. By 1915 the U.S. Agriculture Department put heads together with the Golf Association to find just the right grasses for the American lawn.
Regarding my quest, the fundamentals are sound. House. Corner lot. Fence. The vexing problem is my plot is at a not-so-sweet sweet spot where we find both too much shade and too much sun. Spots under the outstretched arms of our hundreds year old oak trees are brown dirt. A photosynthesis issue? The “grass” in the direct sun appears scorched. The cracked soil reminiscent of a desert movie set minus the tumbleweed tumbling by. Shade, sun, and add a dash of drought and my dreams of a verdant carpet are impossible.
Why this obsessive yearning for a yard? There is science behind this. According to research out of Texas A&M University green growing things like plants, trees, and I would argue grass, have a positive impact on our well being. “Being around plants helps people concentrate better,” they tell us. “Having flowers around the home and office greatly improves people’s moods and reduces the likelihood of stress-related depression.” Need more? The researchers with the Ellison Chair in International Floriculture at A&M go on to say that being in natural environments makes people better at doing their jobs and increases energy.
But as drought continues in the southwest, the need to save water and citywide water rationing is very real. Folks are seeking alternatives. Some have turned to putting artificial turf around their homes. Yes think Astroturf. It’s a thing. There are even tales of folks who add fake leaves to give it that authentic look. One’s imagination could run wild — but for now I’ll put any plans for fake turf out to pasture. However for as much as we have spent, in my never-ending greed for grass (and apparently eternal happiness and energy) it may be equally as productive to simply shred dollar bills and sprinkle them in front of my house. Cash is green and doesn’t need to be watered. Heck, at this point I’d be happy if I could grow even a few weeds. My kind of weed is legal in all 50 States.
Nancy Miller Barton 